High School Dances

High school dances are extremely hard for me.  Yesterday I went to my senior homecoming, and I had a great time even though it was very difficult to hear throughout the whole day date and dance. 

For our day date we went tandem biking up the canyon, and it was super fun!  However, it was a situation where it was difficult to hear.  The wind was blowing in my microphone, I could hear the roaring river, and I couldn't read his lips.  My date was super nice and spoke loud, which was helpful.  

For dinner we went to Olive Garden, and again it was a situation where it was hard to hear.  The restaurant was loud making it hard to hear.  It was really hard to follow the conversation because it was jumping around a lot.  Whenever conversations bounce around quickly and everybody talks at once I am often lost.  Restaurants are always a challenge because they are loud and conversations jump around quickly.

By the time we drove to the dance it was dark outside.  Trying to hear in the car can be challenging, but it is 10x harder when it is dark and I can't see anyone's lips.  I am often found in this situation where I am in the car and it is dark and it can get very frustrating for me.

The dance was fun, but it was so loud!  The music was loud, people were shouting, and it was in a small space so it was super loud.  For the most part it was okay because we were just dancing, but whenever someone would talk to me I struggled.  Another thing that was hard about the dance was that everybody would sing along to the song except for me.  I never understand the lyrics to songs unless I look them up.  I'm not a huge music listener because I can't hear the lyrics.  

The after party was so much fun!  We had ice cream and played games.  I had a great time because it was light and quiet so I could easily follow along with the conversation.  

I am so glad I was able to go to homecoming.  I had a fantastic time.  It might of been difficult to hear, but I still had a great time. Going to the dance helped me realize that I will have situations where it is difficult to hear.  It's part of my life.  But for the most part of my life, I am able to hear fine.  I am so grateful that I have a cochlear implant that allows me to hear.  I'm glad I can go to homecoming and talk with kids.  

ASL Music Video

I thought it would be fun to share a project that I just finished in my ASL 4 class.  We made a music video to "Keep Your Head Up" by Andy Grammer.  Enjoy!

Keep Your Head Up ASL from Ben Cahoon on Vimeo.

Speech Therapy

People often comment on how well I speak.  I owe it to the dedication of my mom and speech therapy! I started speech therapy when I was 9 months old, and I continued to go after I got my cochlear implant.  It was called auditory verbal training.  It was up at Primary Children's one day a week and at the school for the deaf one day a week.  My mom was given assignments that she did with me as often as she could.  She tried to incorporate things we were doing at therapy as part of play time at home.  She was very dedicated and that made a huge difference.  She did everything the speech therapist told her to do and she made therapy part of every day life.   My mom says I really liked going to therapy which made it easier.  I went to Primary Children's until I was 5 years old.   I only did the speech therapy with the school for the deaf ages 2-4.  

After I got my cochlear implant, the speech therapist at Primary Children's told my mom that she should stop signing with me and focus only on hearing and speaking.  My mom didn't want to stop signing with me because that was how we'd been communicating.  And it seemed mean to take away a main of source of communication. It wasn't until the therapist saw how signing could help with the therapy that she stopped telling my mom to stop signing.  One day the speech therapist had animals lined up and then she would say an animal sound, and she wanted me to go get the animal.  I sat there confused, so my mom signed to me what the therapist wanted me to do.  I understood, and was able to do what she wanted.  The therapist was surprised that I was able to understand and she realized how signing could help during the therapy session.  After that she would always ask my mom to sign the directions.  After my speaking vocabulary was larger, we didn't need to sign anymore.  It was just helpful when I first got my cochlear implant.  

Here is a video of me at my speech therapy sessions.  You can see how important signing was to me.  I signed words like thank you, my turn, and baby.  


Emilee's Speech Therapy from Ben Cahoon on Vimeo.

I consider learning to hear and talk one of my biggest accomplishments.  I want to help deaf kids with cochlear implants, so I am thinking about going into speech therapy.  To prepare now, I am doing a speech therapy internship at an elementary school.  I am really enjoying it!  I think it would be neat to impact a child's life the way my speech therapists impacted mine. I'm very thankful to my mom and the therapists because they made a huge difference in my life.



  

Deaf Dancer

I am deaf and I can dance.   I love jazz and ballet. 

Dancing and being deaf is definitely not easy.  I can hear the music, but I'm sure I hear it differently.  Beats are sometimes hard to hear.  It's sometimes hard to know when to start a move based on just the sound of the music.  I rely a lot on counting and people around me. 

I don't like being in the front or doing a solo because I am afraid of not hearing the music and being off.  I prefer having people in front of me and doing duets instead of solos.  This helps me stay on the right count.  I can do it by myself, but I like the comfort of knowing that I am on the right count.  

Last year I had the opportunity to do a solo part throughout a lyrical dance.  The girl was going on choir tour, and they needed someone to learn her part.  I wasn't in the lyrical dance at the time, so they asked me if I would be willing to learn her part and perform it at the competition.  I said yes, and I am so glad I did!  It was very hard, but I was able to perform it well.  It took a lot of practicing and going over the counts but I was able to do it!  

Here is a video of the lyrical dance. I am the girl kneeling down on the left side.  


Emilee's Lyrical Dance from Ben Cahoon on Vimeo.

I am thankful that I am able to dance.  Dancing is one of my favorite things to do.  I am glad I have a cochlear implant that allows me to hear the music.  It is amazing that the technology today allows me to do something I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise.  

Am I Hearing or Deaf?

Do I consider myself hearing or deaf?  Honestly, I think I am both.  I get to enjoy the best of both worlds.  I don't consider myself completely hearing because some situations are very difficult to hear.  But I don't consider myself completely deaf either because I have a cochlear implant.  I live in the hearing world, but I prefer to let people know that I am deaf.  I get this question often, and I have thought about it a lot.  I go back and forth.  Sometimes I consider myself hearing, but then I switch and consider myself deaf.  So I've come to the decision that I am both deaf and hearing.  

I prefer to keep my cochlear implant on as much as I can.  I don't like being deaf when there are others around me.  I feel left out.  If it is really noisy and I'm doing homework I will shush people, and then they get mad because they know that I can just take my cochlear implant off. I hate it when people say, "Just take off your cochlear implant!" I don't want to take it off because then I will miss things they say, and sometimes it can get too quiet.   However, there are times when I do take off my cochlear implant.  I consider it my "safe place".  When I am having a rough day I go into my room and turn off my cochlear implant.  I also sometimes take it off when I am home alone.  Or when I need to go in the basement alone, I will take it off.  Whenever I want to go into my safe place, I just turn it off. 

I like the name deaf better than hearing impaired, hard of hearing, or hearing loss. I don't know why, but I just prefer being called deaf.  I also hate when people use the word hearing aids when referring to my cochlear implant.  I don't have hearing aids, I have a cochlear implant!  They are completely different!

I don't consider myself disabled at all!  Sure, I might not be able to hear perfectly, but I can do anything a hearing person can do.  I can dance, play sports, wakeboard, repel, etc.  I have never felt that I couldn't do something because I am deaf.  Some things might be harder, but they aren't impossible.  

As I get older one of the things I think about is whether or not I will marry a hearing or deaf guy.  I would prefer marrying a hearing guy because I want him to be able to help me.  I want him to be able to hear when our children wake up so he can wake me up.  However, I would prefer that my future husband knows ASL or be willing to learn ASL.  

At the end of the day I am deaf, but I am also hearing!  In some ways I am lucky because I can take advantage of the best of both worlds. 

School

Before I talk about school I want to talk about a girl I met a couple of weeks ago.  She is 7 and she has bi-lateral implants.  Her parents wanted us to meet.  We had an instant connection when she realized that I have a cochlear implant and I know how to sign.   We were able to have a full conversation in ASL.  It was so cute to see her sign and talk.  I am glad I was able to meet her and be a role model for her.  Meeting her also solidified my goal of becoming a speech therapist that works with kids with cochlear implants.

Ok, now on to school.  Today was my first day of school.  I am a senior at Lone Peak High School (a public school).   I haven't always gone to a public school.  I attended the school for the deaf for preschool and kindergarten.  When I was in first grade I went half day to a public school and then the second half I went to the school for the deaf.  I went to a charter school 2nd grade through 8th grade. My mom chose to send me to a charter school because it had smaller class sizes and each teacher had a teacher aide. In 9th grade I went to a local public junior high because I wanted a better transition into high school.  

I do great in a public school, however, I do need to sit in front of the classroom.  I prefer to sit in the front because it is easier to hear the teacher, I can read the teachers lips, and I can turn around and read my classmates lips when they say something.  

In order to be successful I need to have the teacher facing me when they talk.  I struggle to hear when they are writing on the whiteboard (I can't see their lips).  It is also hard when the teacher is walking around the room.  I have to turn to face them wherever they go.  It is also hard to hear when kids around me are talking and being noisy.  Another situation where it is hard to hear is when a student makes a comment and I can't hear them.  I love it when the teacher repeats what the student said.  It helps a lot!  Another challenging situation is when we watch a video in class.  Often times the teachers tell us to take notes or we have an assignment that goes along with the video.  I need closed captions when I watch movies, and often times the video doesn't have them.  It can get really frustrating.  I try my hardest and then I ask a friend for some help.  Another challenging situation that I can think of is assemblies.  I really hate assemblies.  I just can't hear at assemblies, not one bit.  It is always super loud and I can't hear when they are practically yelling in the microphone.  Announcements are another thing that are impossible to understand.  I can't do any lipreading and the announcements are muffled anyway.  Luckily, my school posts the announcements on the school website, so if I want to know something, I check there.  

On back to school night I went to all of my teachers and told them that I am deaf.  I told them that I need to sit in the front, I need them to keep the noise level down, and that I need closed captions for videos.  I love it when teachers are nice about it.  I like it when they remember and they are aware of me.  Some teachers really make an effort to help me and I really appreciate it.  

I am a hard working student.  I have a 4.0 GPA.  I am enjoying high school and I'm looking forward to college.  School can be very challenging, but I make it work. 

Lip Reading

Even though I can hear really well, I depend on lip reading.  I have to see people's lips or else I struggle to hear.  There is something about seeing their lips and matching it to the sound.  If I can't see someone's lips I have a harder time matching the sound to the word.  

Here is a list of some scenarios where I struggle to hear because I can't see their lips:
- Assemblies
- Men with mustaches and beards
- Sitting in the back of the car
- When people are talking while eating and they cover their mouth
- When the teacher is talking while writing on the whiteboard
- When students make a comment but I can't see them
- Talking on the phone
- When someone is trying to talk to me, but they are behind me
- Movies/Videos (I need closed captions)
- Hiking
- Swimming
- Singing
- Any situation in the dark (night games, movie theater, etc.)
- If someone doesn't move their lips a lot or if they are mumbling
- Radio
-Announcements at school 
- High School dances 

Last year I lived in Luxembourg and tried to learn French.  It was difficult because I couldn't recognize the movement of their lips.  

I am constantly lip reading.  I lip read when I have my speech processor on and off.  Even though I am very good at lip reading, it is still very challenging.    

Everyone is impressed by how well I lip read.  Whenever I am swimming, my friends like to test my skill out.  It helps to know the context of what someone is saying.

Funny story:  At our family reunion we played a football game.  Whenever we would huddle together to figure out a game plan I would look over at the other team.  I would read their lips and figure out what their strategy was.  I would tell my team, and we would create a plan based on theirs.  We won every time.  The other team was so frustrated and didn't understand how we knew every time what they were going to do.  At the end of the game, we told them what we did!

I love my cochlear implant and being able to hear.  But to be successful requires other skills like lip reading!