Deaf Cousin

I have a deaf cousin, and I love it!

I thought I would introduce you to my deaf cousin, because I will be mentioning her more often.

Her name is Kellie, and she is 16 years old.  Her story is very similar to mine.  She was born deaf and she got a cochlear implant.  Her cochlear implant is very successful and she is actually thinking about getting a second implant.  She is very active.  She is a great basketball player.  She plays on her high school team.  She speaks very well, and is currently taking ASL at school.  

We are super close because on my dad's side I don't have any girl cousins that are my age.  Growing up we loved having sleepovers!  

I love having a deaf cousin because I have someone that understands exactly what I am going through.  Nobody else gets it like she does.  We have conversations all the time about being deaf. We talk about the positive stuff, as well as the annoying stuff.  She gets it because she goes through the same thing I am going through. 

If I ever have a rough day because of my deafness, I text Kellie.  I tell her what happened, and she always replies with what I need to hear.  I talk to my parents, but I prefer talking to Kellie because she understands.  I can't stress how important it is to me to have someone who understands what I'm going through.  It helps me realize that there are other people in the world that have the same struggles as I do.  I'm so thankful that I have someone close to me that I can talk to whenever I want to.

My Cochlear Surgery Anniversary

16 years ago today, I had my cochlear implant surgery.  I am extremely thankful that I have a cochlear implant! I'm thankful that the surgery went well and that my cochlear implant is successful.  I would love to meet Dr. Shelton, and tell him, "Thank you!"

People often ask me if I will ever get second cochlear implant on my left ear.  Right now my answer is no, and I have several reasons why.  To be honest, the biggest reason is that I am terrified!  I do not want to get another surgery.  One of my biggest fears is that my cochlear implant will break inside, and that I will have to get another surgery and learn how to hear again.  One of the reasons I'm scared is that the facial nerve runs close to the auditory nerve.  If they nick it, your face will be paralyzed.  It's rare, but still scary.  Another reason is that I can hear great right now, and I don't want to change that.  Another reason is that I don't do well with change.  I hate going and get remapped because it always sounds different afterwards and it takes awhile for my brain to get used to it.  I think it would be really hard for me to learn how to hear again in my left ear.  

I think it would be great to have a second cochlear implant.  But I don't think I will get one.  However, if my cochlear implant does break inside (hopefully not!), I probably will get two implants because I will be getting the surgery and learning how to process sound anyway.  I would love to have a full range of hearing.  Right now, I can only hear on my right side.  If someone is calling my name on my left side, I don't turn and look over my left shoulder, I always look over my right shoulder. I think it is so weird that you guys can hear out of two ears. Haha! I've grown up my whole life only hearing out of one ear.  If I did get a second implant, I would have to get used to hearing out of two ears.  

I thought a lot about my surgery today because it is the anniversary of my surgery date.  That day, 16 years ago, my life changed forever.  

High School Dances

High school dances are extremely hard for me.  Yesterday I went to my senior homecoming, and I had a great time even though it was very difficult to hear throughout the whole day date and dance. 

For our day date we went tandem biking up the canyon, and it was super fun!  However, it was a situation where it was difficult to hear.  The wind was blowing in my microphone, I could hear the roaring river, and I couldn't read his lips.  My date was super nice and spoke loud, which was helpful.  

For dinner we went to Olive Garden, and again it was a situation where it was hard to hear.  The restaurant was loud making it hard to hear.  It was really hard to follow the conversation because it was jumping around a lot.  Whenever conversations bounce around quickly and everybody talks at once I am often lost.  Restaurants are always a challenge because they are loud and conversations jump around quickly.

By the time we drove to the dance it was dark outside.  Trying to hear in the car can be challenging, but it is 10x harder when it is dark and I can't see anyone's lips.  I am often found in this situation where I am in the car and it is dark and it can get very frustrating for me.

The dance was fun, but it was so loud!  The music was loud, people were shouting, and it was in a small space so it was super loud.  For the most part it was okay because we were just dancing, but whenever someone would talk to me I struggled.  Another thing that was hard about the dance was that everybody would sing along to the song except for me.  I never understand the lyrics to songs unless I look them up.  I'm not a huge music listener because I can't hear the lyrics.  

The after party was so much fun!  We had ice cream and played games.  I had a great time because it was light and quiet so I could easily follow along with the conversation.  

I am so glad I was able to go to homecoming.  I had a fantastic time.  It might of been difficult to hear, but I still had a great time. Going to the dance helped me realize that I will have situations where it is difficult to hear.  It's part of my life.  But for the most part of my life, I am able to hear fine.  I am so grateful that I have a cochlear implant that allows me to hear.  I'm glad I can go to homecoming and talk with kids.  

ASL Music Video

I thought it would be fun to share a project that I just finished in my ASL 4 class.  We made a music video to "Keep Your Head Up" by Andy Grammer.  Enjoy!

Keep Your Head Up ASL from Ben Cahoon on Vimeo.

Speech Therapy

People often comment on how well I speak.  I owe it to the dedication of my mom and speech therapy! I started speech therapy when I was 9 months old, and I continued to go after I got my cochlear implant.  It was called auditory verbal training.  It was up at Primary Children's one day a week and at the school for the deaf one day a week.  My mom was given assignments that she did with me as often as she could.  She tried to incorporate things we were doing at therapy as part of play time at home.  She was very dedicated and that made a huge difference.  She did everything the speech therapist told her to do and she made therapy part of every day life.   My mom says I really liked going to therapy which made it easier.  I went to Primary Children's until I was 5 years old.   I only did the speech therapy with the school for the deaf ages 2-4.  

After I got my cochlear implant, the speech therapist at Primary Children's told my mom that she should stop signing with me and focus only on hearing and speaking.  My mom didn't want to stop signing with me because that was how we'd been communicating.  And it seemed mean to take away a main of source of communication. It wasn't until the therapist saw how signing could help with the therapy that she stopped telling my mom to stop signing.  One day the speech therapist had animals lined up and then she would say an animal sound, and she wanted me to go get the animal.  I sat there confused, so my mom signed to me what the therapist wanted me to do.  I understood, and was able to do what she wanted.  The therapist was surprised that I was able to understand and she realized how signing could help during the therapy session.  After that she would always ask my mom to sign the directions.  After my speaking vocabulary was larger, we didn't need to sign anymore.  It was just helpful when I first got my cochlear implant.  

Here is a video of me at my speech therapy sessions.  You can see how important signing was to me.  I signed words like thank you, my turn, and baby.  


Emilee's Speech Therapy from Ben Cahoon on Vimeo.

I consider learning to hear and talk one of my biggest accomplishments.  I want to help deaf kids with cochlear implants, so I am thinking about going into speech therapy.  To prepare now, I am doing a speech therapy internship at an elementary school.  I am really enjoying it!  I think it would be neat to impact a child's life the way my speech therapists impacted mine. I'm very thankful to my mom and the therapists because they made a huge difference in my life.



  

Deaf Dancer

I am deaf and I can dance.   I love jazz and ballet. 

Dancing and being deaf is definitely not easy.  I can hear the music, but I'm sure I hear it differently.  Beats are sometimes hard to hear.  It's sometimes hard to know when to start a move based on just the sound of the music.  I rely a lot on counting and people around me. 

I don't like being in the front or doing a solo because I am afraid of not hearing the music and being off.  I prefer having people in front of me and doing duets instead of solos.  This helps me stay on the right count.  I can do it by myself, but I like the comfort of knowing that I am on the right count.  

Last year I had the opportunity to do a solo part throughout a lyrical dance.  The girl was going on choir tour, and they needed someone to learn her part.  I wasn't in the lyrical dance at the time, so they asked me if I would be willing to learn her part and perform it at the competition.  I said yes, and I am so glad I did!  It was very hard, but I was able to perform it well.  It took a lot of practicing and going over the counts but I was able to do it!  

Here is a video of the lyrical dance. I am the girl kneeling down on the left side.  


Emilee's Lyrical Dance from Ben Cahoon on Vimeo.

I am thankful that I am able to dance.  Dancing is one of my favorite things to do.  I am glad I have a cochlear implant that allows me to hear the music.  It is amazing that the technology today allows me to do something I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise.  

Am I Hearing or Deaf?

Do I consider myself hearing or deaf?  Honestly, I think I am both.  I get to enjoy the best of both worlds.  I don't consider myself completely hearing because some situations are very difficult to hear.  But I don't consider myself completely deaf either because I have a cochlear implant.  I live in the hearing world, but I prefer to let people know that I am deaf.  I get this question often, and I have thought about it a lot.  I go back and forth.  Sometimes I consider myself hearing, but then I switch and consider myself deaf.  So I've come to the decision that I am both deaf and hearing.  

I prefer to keep my cochlear implant on as much as I can.  I don't like being deaf when there are others around me.  I feel left out.  If it is really noisy and I'm doing homework I will shush people, and then they get mad because they know that I can just take my cochlear implant off. I hate it when people say, "Just take off your cochlear implant!" I don't want to take it off because then I will miss things they say, and sometimes it can get too quiet.   However, there are times when I do take off my cochlear implant.  I consider it my "safe place".  When I am having a rough day I go into my room and turn off my cochlear implant.  I also sometimes take it off when I am home alone.  Or when I need to go in the basement alone, I will take it off.  Whenever I want to go into my safe place, I just turn it off. 

I like the name deaf better than hearing impaired, hard of hearing, or hearing loss. I don't know why, but I just prefer being called deaf.  I also hate when people use the word hearing aids when referring to my cochlear implant.  I don't have hearing aids, I have a cochlear implant!  They are completely different!

I don't consider myself disabled at all!  Sure, I might not be able to hear perfectly, but I can do anything a hearing person can do.  I can dance, play sports, wakeboard, repel, etc.  I have never felt that I couldn't do something because I am deaf.  Some things might be harder, but they aren't impossible.  

As I get older one of the things I think about is whether or not I will marry a hearing or deaf guy.  I would prefer marrying a hearing guy because I want him to be able to help me.  I want him to be able to hear when our children wake up so he can wake me up.  However, I would prefer that my future husband knows ASL or be willing to learn ASL.  

At the end of the day I am deaf, but I am also hearing!  In some ways I am lucky because I can take advantage of the best of both worlds.